C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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