I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
