He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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