sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
