i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
