This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
