Ambien. No doubt about it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
