I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
