i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
