it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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