I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
