I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize