i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
