Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
