Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
this is an emotional support booty call
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
