I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
