are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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