i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
