singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
