So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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