I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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