I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
