maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
