I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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