so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
