Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize