Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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