Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
