Me too!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
