with your own penis?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize