why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize