Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
