This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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