She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
