DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
