M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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