So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
