smell my finger.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
