Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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