just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
