i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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