and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
