Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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