soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My vagina is officially offended.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
