I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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