I bet he comes in French.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
