Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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