too bad you live with your parents still
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
