be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
