Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
