someone get that fucking seahorse.
i barfeds in our rink
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
