Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I will be naked everywhere
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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