Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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