Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
