How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think your dad took our porno
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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