We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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