We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize