I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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