We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
