Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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