Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
