Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...