I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
