Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
