why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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