did you get engaged???
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had to cum in my sink.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
